OK, this is worse than the cockroaches in the microwave.

I am wrapping Christmas presents and listening to archived Jean Shepherd shows (including some hilarious 1970s commercials, like the one claiming you haven't lived until you've worn a double-knit polyester suit), and he tells this story about a woman in England who goes to the dentist to have a tooth pulled, and the dentist yanks the bad tooth, and...

out of the socket...

crawls...

an enormous centipede!

He follows this up with a story about a guy who visits Northern India and discovers months later that he is harboring a 38-foot tapeworm...

I so do not need to hear this right now, in the middle of deworming...